A challenge I've run into throughout my school and work life is conditional friends. No matter how close you become to a classmate or workmate, once you or they move on to a different school or job, the friendship evaporates. Evaporates quickly.
The buddies I had in college were guys and girls I knew almost from day one. We lived together in the same hallways and rooms. We partied in our rooms (almost every night!). We hit the party scene/the bong 'n kegs almost every weekend. We knew each other's friends. We knew each other's families. We knew each other’s classes and coursework and favorite games.
The day we graduated was, for most of them, the very last day I ever set eyes on them. Just like that. No fancy goodbye. No emails going forward. No nothing.
And even the friends you "keep," are friends in a different way. You may see them once a week or month or year or every few years. But it's not the same level of every day friendship. This even happens with family members: my own sister, I'm sad to recognize, who used to be with me every day, play the same games when we were little kids, go on family trips together .... when we see each other once or twice a year now, it's almost like a formal greeting. That's all. I've always found that sad.
Which leads me to reflect on what a real friend is. It's not only any friendship of dedication and time. It's a friend who maintains a level of friendship that is valuable for both of you, despite whatever life changes happen. That level may change - will change - over time. But it remains of value to both of you. No matter if you change schools or have kids or move to Tanzania or buy a Tesla or become a Cleveland Browns fan. You remain friends.
A real friend is special. Hold onto him or her.
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