Our desires shaped by society

  It’s remarkable that we can be so convinced that we like something, enjoy something, want to do something, that we disregard the clear truth that we don’t really like it at all. In my own life, I have personally seen – way too clearly and for way too long – how what we like as adolescents, in particular, is often rooted in what we think and expect other people to want us to like.

In my own career path, I initially followed a journey that did not at all fit with my true interests, passions, and abilities. I was convinced that I should like this career path since that was a field that appeared to be popular and prestigious, even a sexy option (I laugh at myself now for saying). When I later left that path – after a long period of futility and hardship – I came to see it as a stark lesson in the external influences on our desires and passions. We imagine our affinities and yearnings to accord with the generally-held opinions around us, rather than our own true inclinations.

And those external influences themselves can often be imaginary as well. As a teenager and young adult, in high school and college, I felt I had a deep understanding of what the outside world of family and friends and the greater public would perceive of my chosen profession. I was sure that this was the only path to pursue because it was “the best.”

We learn from our mistakes, of course, and those lessons are often the hardest and the most important. When we enter into a pursuit following the imagined desires of others – they will think I’m smart! They will think I’m strong! They will think I’m the cool guy walking down the hall! – we sometimes find that these desires do not at all reflect our true desires - our personal desires, which should, we later realize, have been our driving force all along.

We are slaves to society. And that slavery brainwashes us. While we are citizens of the world, while we explore and seek to fit within the world around us, we must never forget who we really are inside.