Don't waste your time complaining!

      I have a colleague who has shown me the wasteful, unproductive habit of complaining about stuff you can't fix! He distracts himself from productive tasks by focusing on issues that none of us have any capacity to fix or improve.

     In all our work and play, we always run into elements that obstruct us, that annoy us. It's inevitable. Whether it be people or instruments or processes, any occupation/industry has these challenges. Nowhere is perfect!

     What magnifies these challenges in terms of time expenditure is complaining about items you can't fix. Many of the complainers are habitually-so - to the point you know they are going to complain before they even say anything! It is, of course, important to be aware of these problems, since one day they may be able to be dealt with or, in most cases, you need to devise workarounds so these problems aren't holding you back.

     But complaints in themselves often only slow a team down. They are detrimental even if they raise an important point to consider for later on. Moreover, time spent complaining is time that could be instead used productively. No matter what your role or industry, directing yourself and those you work with toward those productive avenues is your main task. For this reason, you and your team must avoid complaining!

How much should I let my children explore the world on their own?

     Having and raising children is a tremendous joy and an unimaginable responsibility. My two little ones are 5 and 2. You read all sorts of books and magazines and blogs about raising children, but until you actually (try to) do it, you can't really understand how difficult the responsibilities and challenges can be.

    A central question I have when I play and guide them and watch them - it's work, but it's fun work! - is the balance between guidance and allowing them to explore on their own. For sure, safety is a primary concern - in many cases, me and my wife step in and "guide" them when they play or walk around just to keep them safe. In many cases, we estimate they aren't able to safely do something (ie. climb up on the kitchen counter), when they really are able to. They know more than we think they do!

    So the challenge becomes, you guide to keep them safe and to teach them (our years of life experience must have some value we can share!). But you also need to let them try things themselves - open/close the box, the door, put on their shoes by themselves, clean up the mess they made with their toys in the living room. The more and more I observe them, the more I see how much they learn by observing the world around them and trying things themselves. You have to be patient and watch them explore the world.

     

Social media expression - how free is it?

 While I’m not exactly an overly ambitious Tweeter or Facebooker or Google+-er (are those still around? pardon the joke at Google’s expense …), I do engage in some minimal social media and have noticed some things. I do value the improved ability to stay in touch with current or lost friends and the communication value is certainly almost limitless. However, I find the discourse on social media is not always the most conducive to free expression.

Please, if anyone out there disagrees with me on this, let me know! I’m sure many of you have remarkable examples of how a social media platform, such as Twitter, has allowed you to truly, freely express yourselves, but I wonder if you’ve witnessed any of the downsides? Because our words and thoughts are so openly visible, I think there is something of a tendency to shy away from some forms of expression.

Take politics, for instance. I have personally known stories of people receiving forms of discrimination or retribution in their workplace after freely expressing an opinion on a sensitive topic such as abortion or free trade or immigration or even which presidential candidate(s) they support.  Does fear of such treatment curtail truly free expression? Back in the days before Twitter etc, I’m sure similar things happened, but at least in a non-social media world you could decide with whom and when you wanted to share what.

Or an example from my own experience in sports fandom. I’m a fan of football (American) and baseball. That’s mostly it. I don’t know much at all about soccer (although I am curious, it seems so popular it must be great!) So I read another Tweeter’s opinion that described how sportscasters for soccer often take the role of mere spokespeople in favor of the teams they report on (as opposed to a lot of sportscasters for baseball and football, who mostly seem to be unbiased reporters, having opinions, but not biased in one way or another – I hope Skip Bayless is reading this, he should learn what a real reporter does!). So I merely asked this person if these soccer sportscasters had any financial stake or interest in the success of a given team? (a casual question, since I don’t know the system!). This person angrily told me “not to ask pointed questions lest I offend someone.” Really? So if I can’t ask a pointed question, how can we have real, open discourse that will enrich and educate all of us? If I’m afraid of offending someone by a mere question, I should be more afraid to offend some more people by making an actual statement!

Maybe I’m overreacting, and I hope one of you more social media-savvy friends out there can point me in the right direction and give me some more confidence to express myself. But as it is, sending out messages to “anyone out there” seems like a risky way to express oneself …. Unless of course you’re not afraid of offending anyone, which I hope most people are and one of you out there will encourage me to be!

Thanks for listening (ie. reading). Tweet me @ErikDWeis !!!! And I look forward to having free discourse on any topic with you!!!